My Mind Palace

epiicer:

If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife

makokitten:

fluffy—heretic:

shmegel:

yes but how old is the sport

bloodbending:

demoncolbert:

OH MY GOD

i went into the bank and asked what day it was and the teller said “march 26th” so i asked “and the year?” and she kinda looked at me for a second before saying “2012”. i threw my hands up in the air and yelled “IT WORKED” before turning to leave.

THEN AS I WAS JOGGING OUT OF THE BANK SOME OTHER DUDE CAME UP TO ME LIKE “HOLY CRAP, YOUR MACHINE WORKED TOO?” AND WE HIGH FIVED AND RAN OFF.

WHAT IF HE WAS ACTUALLY A TIME TRAVELER

asphyxion:

i went to a high school where they played jeopardy music when you had about 30 seconds to get to class and i shit you not best part of the day was seeing kids sprinting to class with this music playing

mianaya:

grubbsgrady:

therealhamster:

2004 was 17 years ago

2004 was only 9 years ago 

math

khajiduh:

if i were famous, i’d go to a red carpet event in a fashionable tan leather dress, and when they asked me who i was wearing, i’d say ‘i don’t know her name, but she had a beautiful complexion, didn’t she?’